:)

At least I've achieved something that i never thought I would achieve, to stand up and smile again. Real or not? Im doing it. Took me a lot of courage.

New me.

I've promised myself, in three months, i must change myself, to a better person. To have my pride, ego and dignity back. I must gain all the respects i deserve again. I dont want to being look down anymore. The feeling of being look down, hurts me so much. I will get through everything. You can keep all your unsaid things to yourself. Whatever you try to explain, just makes me feel like youre telling new lies again. And it's really annoying that the feeling hits me again and again. I still remember how much i struggle to reach here, how much i wanted to die, how much i have to take in about what you both doing, how much pain hits me. And eventually, it lets me know what you were saying all the time were lies, and never real. But, what were you doing at that time, you were enjoying every bits. I still remember how much I trusted you and you were playing with the trust I had on you. I swear to God that i did everything for you, not even for myself, and you treated me like some dead cats at the roadside. Someone that you can easily cheat on, play with. How I wish i can slap you in your face with all my strength, telling how much I hate you. If I had the courage to wish you on your birthday, I see no point that you dont. Maybe because you're really guilty on what you did, but i wont ever pity you anymore. No one will.

So close.

Its coming nearer and nearer. I can always wear a smile, but i dont know i actually will feel depressed at some point. Sigh. "Thank You" for hurting me. To break my heart. To mess up my life.

R.I.P Uncle Ken.

Sighhhh~~! What is life for real? I dont know what else i can say, but i just hope you're once again happy and relief in the place you are right now. May God bless your soul. :'(

4th of March.

The day im shameful of. The day that i made the worst decision in my life. The day that i will never ever appreciate. All the consequences i have to go through because of one stupid decision.