Wondering.

I was wondering the whole time, whats wrong with my life? I dont blame, I appreciate, Im contented. But it didnt seem enough. Things never go right with me. Whenever i think it might be the start of something good, but it ended up something bad. What are people expecting? I know I shouldnt blame. Im not either, Im just wondering, did I do anything wrong? I just wanna be free of these stupid useless things. It is bad to ask for something? Cause it seems like, everything, anyone that I like, I will never get, no matter how much effort I put in. But its fine, just gonna follow the flow and let things go its way. I believe, I reckon. You can do this, Yung! :)

释放自己。

既然没办法把自己最真心的告诉你，那就让它以字，留在这里就好。
敢爱敢恨，容易说但又有谁有那种勇气去做呢？说了出来，不怕连朋友都没得做吗？
自从我们停止信息，我一直都有留意你的动静。又如何呢？时不时都会想找话题和你聊天，你却三言两语地说说就算。
我想把一切都写下以警惕自己不要再那么幼稚，天真了。

我喜欢你，很喜欢。这是真的。可能对你来说，你很快很快地就可以把我给忘了。而我，却越陷越深。可能一切都说不上爱，可是我真的希望你可以感受到我的心。 我知道我不可能把这些都说出来，或许有一天吧，可是如果今天我不把它写下，我的情绪就一直被你牵连。你可能已经认识新的女孩子，有新的喜欢的人，我也不能阻止，只能呆呆地望着，可是也无所谓了吧，喜欢你，就该让你开心，不能为了自己而让你改变。无论我有多想为你改变，只因想和你一起，我也该知道这不太可能了，因为你也彻底地变心了。可能我应该谢谢你，趁早告诉我，至少我自己还知道底线。 我真心的希望你在哪一天想起我，会主动找我，主动跟我说话。我很开心你至少曾经尝试爱上我的一切，我的全部。你，绝对不是我的理想对象，可能因为真的喜欢，所以一切曾经幻想的，变得可有可无了。你就是你。喜欢的就是你。

一切可能是自己一厢情愿，自己把喜欢放大成爱，我自己其实蛮确定自己的感受，一切都是环绕着你。有时候，适当的放手，是真正得到的源头。一些事情是永远勉强不来，是你的就是你的。可能真的是自己失去了机会，但一切都是有原因，要坚信自己。我很好，没必要受苦。喜欢上你是我的福气，认识你是我的开心。我也要继续微微笑地祝福你。要好好注意健康， 不要吸太多烟，别喝太多酒了。爱你, 陈则升。 :)

Childhood fairy tale.

I used to imagine how things will be in my future. In terms of my love life. :P I imagined to have a really beautiful wedding, in a beautiful white dress and veil, with natural flower fragrance. I dont have specific favourite flower, any will do. Walking towards the alter, feeling grateful. Looking through the crowd, feeling the love in the air, thinking, "It's finally my day". Playing the song "Set me as a seal", happily holding the person's hand. It will be best, if dad will be there.
Future, how my family will be. How am i going to give the best to my kids. Hoping he will love me no matter how, never leave me and be there for me. Actually i just want a happy family.
HAHHAHA! After all, im just imagining too much. Well, it's not wrong to imagine, i have a dream? :P