Internship.

Time flew so fast, that I soon need to go for internship. Honestly, deciding to go Singapore is not easy decision for me. It took a lot of courage for me to make this decision, to not care. I know food science is not an encouraged field in Singapore, it will be hard to even find a placement there. I expected too much, and when result did not turn out as I expected, I break down, and always attempt to hide from making all the life-related decisions. I guess, its really time to make my own decisions that changes life. I know tough times ahead, and I need to go through it, and grow stronger. I am on my own, I can do this.

Caption.

I'm quite sad that everyone is transferring to merchants and I have to stay in bb. Sigh. I totally understand why mum wants me to stay, and not let me go there, but I like there more,. I cant blame mum for being so worried, only to blame myself, why am I even so playful. I know, to her, I'm exposing myself to risks, but I dont think I will get any injuries or accident working there? There's more other people there. Thats why, im so annoyed and mad. But, what to do, will just see what happen later.. :(

Myself.

Currently in Germany, blogging about this. Kinda thought about myself abit after the lecture about perfect speech. I may look cheerful and happy from the outside, trying to keep myself happy, but I tend to have a lot of negative thoughts about others. Which sort of defeats me, and making me feel bad. I cant help to hate things that people around do. Even just a small thing and doesnt really matter to anyone. :/ I should not be so judgmental anymore. :(

Summer School

Will soon be leaving for my summer school trip. I was supposed to be very excited, but somehow the group of friends kind of demotivates me. Instead, I will miss all my working friends. No matter how tired I am, I dont regret working for Merchant's Lane. People showered me with love, endlessly. Im so blessed to have them in my growing years. I know I will not have similar chance anymore, but oh well, I have some experience that other dont? The only positive thing I could think of. Special thanks to Ken Tan and Jun. I cant imagine life in BB or Merchants to be the same without you guys. YOU ARE AWESOME! Another irreplaceable working partners. :3

The last paper of Sem 5.

I remember the last post was about how stressful is my Sem 5 and how I complain about people. Time flies, and its finally the last paper in 32 hours time. I really tried my best to study real hard for this semester, one thing is to prove that im able to manage my time properly, doing what i love at the same time. I must say, everything went so well. Of course, there were so many challenges in between, and look, I embraced them all and went through it. I believe, Im now having a better me, with a true self. Im really afraid of people discriminating me, thus, making me timid and dont speak often. I always say things wrongly, and people will start to discriminate me, in the way that, "you backstab me, i dont want to talk to you", but I was just telling the truth. :( Anyhow, Im glad for being who I am today. I need more improvement, I know. But oh well, we are all learning right.. It takes time, not too long though. Lets do this together, mates!

No shit given.

Life has been hard in Sem 5, due to all the homework, assignments and my part time job. I did not want to give up on my part time solely cause of one reason, it is the best time I could have in my entire week, everytime. I get to learn coffee, make coffee, talk to people about nonsense, being myself in a way. I honestly dont like to deal with all the fake faces and attitudes of the complicated people in uni. Why do you even want to fake? Just show what you like or not like. Taking it to yourself (in a good way) or faking it, doesnt make you look like youre a saint. Somehow, you just look pathetic to me. I 100% agree that I changed completely since semester 1 till now. Honestly, I dont give a fuck to anything anymore. If I ever worry about other people, when will I be happy right? I will not treat you mean or bad, if you didnt do anything wrong. No one is perfect, so do I. I can accept your flaws until certain extend. If you go overboard, I dont care anymore, as long as it doesnt really affect anymore. Even there are dramas in my working place, as long as I do my work, learn my things, have my fun, I dont see why people want to pick on me. I dont care about the dramas as long as im not involved. And I really feel better.

Friend-ship sinks.

So I had this "bff" 3 years ago. It was during my college year. We were so close, till people thought that we knew each other for years, even its just a few months at that time. We shared literally everything with each other. However, when we both started degree, due to different courses, we didnt contact as often anymore. We tried to have lunch in between classes, so that we wont lose our friendship. But things dont go as you wish all the time. It was still okay in the first two sems, since we have one or two mutual subjects.

Till the third sem, things werent going too good. Few times, I asked her out for lunch, to hang out, she didnt really bother, or even to give effort to show up. Few weeks later, she broke up with her boyfriend. She told me everything bad about him, and i started to dislike him too (thats what bffs are for right? :P). I believed every single word she said. I did, cause i trusted her. But soon, I found out, besides the bad things she talked about her ex, she was "kinda-flirting" with another guy. I was really angry, how could she even hide everything behind me and lie to me, in some way. I told myself, fine. Wait for her explanation. But wow, i was too naive. She didnt even bother to tell me anything, instead, kept saying the guy she was flirting with, annoyed her. I tried my best to keep him away from her, since she felt so irritated. And again, I found out, she was meeting him all the time behind my back. Fine. I dont even want to bother or give a damn in all her stories anymore. I was the last one to know that she was flirting the guy though, after i saw it with my own eyes.

Everyone thought, they sure will get together. A week after I found out, she is with another guy. SHE ANNOUNCED HER RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER GUY. FYI, there are 3 guys involved. And since her broke up, it was about 2 months only. Everyone's jaw dropped and started to ask me since when they started. Well, I, the bff, again, dont know about it. Hahahha. I started to hang out with her less, since shes always busy dating, doesnt reply texts. It feels like im doing it one way, without getting back any responds. I was really upset for one whole semester, asking my friends why is she doing all this to me, doesnt she appreciate our friendship anymore? All my other friends, asked me to just leave her alone. I still wave at her when I see her, just that i dont bother to stop by and talk more. I didnt even ask her out for anything.

After one whole year, finally her mum approached me. She asked me, is there any misunderstanding between both of us, why do I look like Im mad at her. Oh please, I dont even bother to be angry anymore. I was so disappointed at her. And, if she realize theres something wrong with me, isnt she supposed to approach me herself? Her mum, still dare to ask me to find her more often. If she really wants to keep the friendship, she can be the one making the effort to ask me out. Why am I supposed to be the one that approach her, when she can do the same too? I gave in way too much to maintain the friendship, she was the one to just stand there and do nothing. Now the mum is here, asking me is there any miscommunication. Jokes.

To avoid more dramas, I just answer her mum, there's nothing much, just everyone is busy with their own life. But she doesnt even know what her daughter did. Well, if she ever asks me again, I wont hesitate more to tell her the story. :)

Drama everywhere.

For the past one month, I've exposed myself to so many different things, hang out with different people. Till yesterday, I just realize, how complicated humans can be, even in just a small circle. I told myself, not to overthink, not to get involve in any troubles, just be myself, as simple as it can be. I found out that, ALL the girls working there are so freaking complicated and drama with their relationship problems. That made me slightly happy that luckily im not involved in anything. :P Honestly, I am someone who is quite busybody. I want to know everything single gossip. BUT, I dont want to comment or comfort anyone who is involved in it. -.- So much trouble. What if I said something not right? What if I commented what they didnt want to hear? Girls problem.

*Sometimes I wonder, where I got all the views from? o.o The number of views, surprises me at times. lol.