Pathetic life.

Sometimes I really feel left out, when i thought i actually have some really good friends.
I tried to be good, smile always.
And i guess they think i'm too good to be bullied.
People are saying i'm fat, ugly and some really harsh words.
It really hurts me, for your information.
But it doesn't seem like a matter to anyone.
Now i realised most of the people are treating me like i'm their maid, or just for some companion when they're alone.
I feel like i'm an extra person in this world.
I WANT SOMEONE THAT REALLY TREAT ME WELL WITH THEIR HEART.
The only person that can do that to me is Tessa.
But I think I've hurt her feelings too many times.
Which makes her feel uncomfortable when she's with me.
Primary School, High School.
I REALLY hope that there will be some changes in my future days.

A list of christmas wish.

Dear Santa,
I wonder, do you actually exist in this world?
I'm from Malaysia. Do you send presents to here when the houses here are without chimney.
Are you really fat? Can you actually jump down from the chimney?
I have a list of wish:
1. I want a blackberry.
2. I want a set of PRGR "Swing" golf set.
3. I want to Australia.
4. I want to go Korea.
5. I want to meet Leeteuk.
6. I want to meet Yesung.
7. I want to go every concert of SUPER JUNIOR.
8. I want to go for SM's, SNSD's, SHINee's and F(x)'s concerts.
9. I want my dad's health.

10. I want a peachful family.

11. I want a warm family.

12. I want a place that we can stay in which belongs to us.

13. I want my mum to be happy.

14. I want my mum to enjoy her life instead of suffering with the really bitchy people.

15. I want my siblings to be happy.

Maybe because i'm not a kid anymore, I dont really believe in your existance.

But this is definitely what i want.

I might be a bad girl throughout the year, but i believe I'm not.

I'm a good girl. :)

Thanks Santa.

An early Christmas wish for you.

Merry Christmas. <3

It's the 200th post.

Hi, people. It's my 200th post.
happy 200 posts. LOL.

5 Cendana #2011 SMKSBSSKK

Tough days are over.

Finally the tough days are over.
The days which we used up to 11 years just for that.
It's totally an amazing fullstop for my high school life.
And so, i decided to make a video for my class.
It was really disappointing when no one actually watch it and comment on it.
Like the wantan thing during the class party.
It was really depressing.
Soon, people started to comment and like the video.
I felt so touch and happy.
Finally my hardwork pay off.
It really means a lot to me.
I know that video means a lot to everyone.
I wish everyone likes it. :D

Short message.

Wooooo~
It's been 3 days suffering in the exam hall.
another 7 days more to go.
I finally finished the 2 papers that i scared the most.
It's like half of the stress is gone.
Feeling awesome.
Kay. Gtg.
Tomorrow is Maths paper. :)
After this exam, goodbye to my high school life.
Gonna miss it so much, I guess. :)

Girl, appreciate what you have.

Girl, do you know that you actually have the best family, best support and best people by your side?
I know you're still young to think bout any of these things.
Anyway, you have the best golf set, please take care of it.
Even mine are not as good as yours, but i appreciate what i have.
You have the best support from your mum who willing to send you here and there for golf practices EVERYDAY.
So, stop complaining.
You get to go to course for at least once a week when i only get to go course like twice a year?
Dont get lazy and do what you're supposed to do.
You have the best coach with another 4 assistants that can teach you everyday.
Eventhough we have the same coach, he hardly even comes to my bay to teach me a single thing.
Even i dont have the best golf set, dont have a really supportive family, barely get to see the golf course, no one tells me what to do at what time...
I appreciate what i own.
I'm grateful that i have a golf set.
I'm grateful that i can go for 2 times of golf game a year.
I'm grateful that an assistant of our coach willing to train me.
Even i have mistake, i learn from what i did and accept what i did wrongly.
Please stop your bad habits like overestimate yourself.
And listen to people advices. Dont always give the damn face when you're only 11.
You have a long way to go. High school is not as easy you think.
We are supposed to appreciate what we have. :D

Invisible.

These days, I was thinking, friends are what to me?
I still remember when i was in primary school, everyone was saying friends forever.
It's so fake to me now.
People can just forget you, like you've never exist.
Whatever, best friend forever, BFF, it's just a piece of shit to me.
People are selfish. That's human's nature.
There might be minority of them outside the world, any corner, who are exceptional.
But guess what, majority people just think bout themselves.
And i guess i'm one of them.
I used to trust freindships.
After several times being betrayed, I will never trust anyone.
I thought I had a really good time when I was in primary school.
But, recently, I found out, not even one of them remember me.
I felt like a little ant at a side, alone.
No one realise that I was actually their classmate.
Based on this experience, I can make another statement.
No one will remember me after my high school graduation.
Even how hard i try to make something that worth people remembering.
Do not blame me when i do something really selfish.
i am who i am.
I've tried to stay positive. I just want attention.
From certain people who i really care.
But nevermind. It's nothing to me now.
Thank you, schoolmates. For giving such a memorable time. T-T

French Macarons.

It's my sister's birthday. She always wanted to buy herself macarons.

But it's too expensive for a tiny one.

And now, I'm going to make her plenty. :D

For her birthday.

I've never do this before. i just wish my macarons will look good at least in front of the camera.

It's okay if it taste like poo. LOL. But better not.

Wish me good luck.

Do you know the person in the mirror?

When you have quarrels or fights with your friends, why dont you think about yourself?
Think whether it's your friends' or your problems.
If it yours, change it and apologise to the person that you disappoint.
If it's not you, turn away and dont look back.
It might be your friends' problem.
But, before anything happens, try to solve the problem.
In order to save your friendship.
Prevent is better than cure.
Look in the mirror.
Understand the person in the mirror.
Look into yourself, stop being selfish and childish.
Be a better person. :)

Unexpected.

Hi, people. It's been a very very long time since i last updated my blog.
So, I'm back here to type. Wow. Such a great news.
Anyway, I am so lucky to get chosen for the national service.
AWESOME. What an unexpected news.
So, dear Malaysia.
I'm now ready to serve you. :D
Just let me finish my SPM as soon as possible. It's freaking me out.
Though I'm not studying very hard which i supposed to. :X
I pray so hard with my knee bent, finger-crossed.
To get the best result i can for the coming trial.
I'm working hard. Just not that hard.
Yung, just pay a little more attention, work a little harder, you can do it.
People usually say that to comfort themselves.
The truth is:
PAY A LOT MORE ATTENTION, WORK VERY HARD, STAY UP LATE.
To get a little better result. =.=
Trust me. That's the real part, everyone.
This is how realistic a world is. Accept that.
Who asked God made you as a human who lives in such a wonderful country. :)

Daebak! :D
Signing off- Yung. BYE~

I'm not perfect. But i was born this way.

Well. Yeah. I'm not perfect.
I'm just a random girl who walks in the school's hallway.
Lucky that i didnt got slushied.
Anyway, just someone with some not really good academic.
With okay-grade of co-curricular.
Learn music.
But, who cares...
I'm not the person that show things out.
Okay, I do. Only to people i'm really close with.
I wonder why people like to compare themselves with others.
No one in this world is perfect. Neither you are.
It just hurts your own feeling when you fail.
You're born this way. So just accept who you are. :)

조권♥가인

I've been watching "we got married" recently.

For Adam couple, which made up of Jokwon (2am) and Gain (B.E.G).

They're totally awesome.

They knew each other before the show.

they acted awkwardly at the beginning of the show.

Eventually, Slowly, Gradually..

They fell in love.

And the song " we fell in love" is produced.

They started to know each other better.
Care for each other, make fun of each other.

Share their best and worst moment together.

Jokwon even made Gain a song, The day i confessed.

They had their first kiss in Bali.

Happy things will always come to an end.

They had their 1st anniversary with SeuLong and Jea at Jejudo.

It was a success.

They appreciate each other.

They had their second Christmas together.

Jokwon sang Gain "Happy Go".

They had a kiss there too.

A few episodes after that, they are called to seperate a.k.a divorce.

Fans were all so sad.

They end their marriage at the radio station Shim Shim Ta Pa.

The place where they first sang their duet, We fell in love.
After that, they ended their last time in the wedding house.

Jokwon made Gain to leave him a message.

Whille she was thinking what to say..

He went out sneakily.

He made a surprise for her.
She was toally touched and speechless.

Just keep saying Thank you.
People in studio already cried like nobody's business.

So am I.

They shouldn't be seperated.

Fans are requesting to re-marry them.

But from what i saw from the Internet.

They divorced due to the busy-tight schedule.

I hope they can really get together.

But it seems like it wont happen.

After their casting in All My Love.

They were said to have feeling as siblings more than as couple.

They are perfect match. ♥

I'm walking in sunshine.

The exam atmosphere had gradually faded away from my body and the holiday mood is sneaking into my heart.
It's been a long time since i had a proper rest. I miss them so much.
It's coming to an end for the first half year of my final senior year.
To admit the truth, I'm old now. It's OLD.
The first half year of school time is gonna end in 1 week plus.
I'm looking forward to the sleepover!
Hope it's gonna work and we can gather around to chit-chat bout stupid stuff.
I enjoy doing this with them. :D

Today was a really bad day.
BEcause of Add Maths and some reason, most of us cried. Due to some specific reason.
Ling Ling! Go Go Go!!

Gotta Off!
Bye~ Mr Owl. :)
-Yung Yung-

Oh God.

I prayed so hard, but You didnt hear me... Is it because You're busy helping victims in Japan?
MSSM just finished. It was a disaster to me.
Hundred over strokes.
Played like a beginner. Shouldnt be forgiven.
I should have play better!
No point to do the talk now, it's over.
However, I had fun.
People there are awesome.
Especially the brothers.
IMAN AND SAFIZAN!
Safizan was chased by me and Iman was forced to buy me dinner. :D
They're so cool.
Sometimes, i feel to be with them. Better to be at home.

- The word "I love you" is easy to write with your hand, but hard to write with your heart. -

Half-relief.

YESSS! 1 week over. Isnt that awesome?
Which also means my tournament is coming nearer.
Pfft. Nevermind, the day will still come.
Oh. The most important exam week is here.
Hi, how are you. LOL.
At least 1 week is over. 1 more week to go. Hehe.

Kay, that's all.
Signing off, Yung.
:D

-Wait till my turn. And i know the day will be here.-

Stressed out.

I'm totally strssed out for now. It's because of the bloody exam.
And of course, teacher's not-going-to-finish homework. Like a little mountain.
That really annoys me. Though i did my homework everyime, but it seems like, when teacher asked for it, never finished.
That's the fucking part.
And it's exam. Kills me.
Right on my throat.
Cause i'm not well-prepared.
Damn it. Life really sucks.
Really looking forward to the holidays.
I can see him waving to me. Miles away. =.=
I will ask for more resting time by then.
Hope my tournament wont touch any of my exam or holiday.
Ohh. And my golf. Good to know. It's not improving but the opposite way.
Real depressed.
Everything is just not going the right way.

It's not mine. Never be. But i wish it is. :)

Hello, baby.

Hello, my friendssss.
There probably no one concern about my blog anymore.
Cause I didnt sign in for quite some time. You may use decade to describe it.
It's a total new year!
Anyway, this is the real time for me to die for exam. Really sacrifice for it.

I really got no idea what to blog after leaving my blog alone for months.

So, here i off. :D
Bye.