Drama everywhere.

For the past one month, I've exposed myself to so many different things, hang out with different people. Till yesterday, I just realize, how complicated humans can be, even in just a small circle. I told myself, not to overthink, not to get involve in any troubles, just be myself, as simple as it can be. I found out that, ALL the girls working there are so freaking complicated and drama with their relationship problems. That made me slightly happy that luckily im not involved in anything. :P Honestly, I am someone who is quite busybody. I want to know everything single gossip. BUT, I dont want to comment or comfort anyone who is involved in it. -.- So much trouble. What if I said something not right? What if I commented what they didnt want to hear? Girls problem.

*Sometimes I wonder, where I got all the views from? o.o The number of views, surprises me at times. lol.

Ending 2014.

Basically, my 2014 neither that challenging nor interesting, its just a normal year for an ordinary girl. However, my feelings were much affected and depended on my friends within the year. I have to make some changes in the coming year, since Jean is leaving to Australia soon. Things have to be better. No one is going to wait for you. If you want to improve, you have to make the change. 2015 is coming, in 2 days. I'm going to be 21 soon. I have to grow up to my age. Honestly, I'm really contented with what I have throughout the year. What else more can I ask for? I got what I deserve, so if I want more, work more. Stay strong, improve more, girl.

Edelweiss symbolizes daring, courage and noble purity. :)

Mental Support.

Have been so stressed up recently due to finals. I'm kind of cranky and depressed cause I will have to sit on the chair for several hours to cramp everything into my brain. But it's okay. I must remember, things will be better. I can embrace and endure all the challenges and obstacles ahead. I can be a better person. I will be. I can just find some little things that able to cheer me up a little and continue my fight. There are some people who have to suffer more, or take in more than I do. I am lucky enough. Things are good. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. :)

Over-expect.

People who know me, I put friends as one of my prior. Recently, things have been bad. Maybe its just me over thinking or over expecting. But im really tired in pleasing anyone. I totally understand that theres no one asked me to please anyone. In real life, I just care about certain people a lot. I ranted to quite a lot of closer friends, but people dont deserve to listen to all my nonsense right? I still have to deal it myself.

I must tell myself, from now on, I DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. I will bitch all the shit out. I can really act dumb at times, and im working this fine. I know I may have problem as well. But I really wish people can tell me whats my problem, and i can work on it, instead of just brushing it off.

Kay. Im gonna start being a bitch. Damn it.

Overthink.

I always put friends as my prior. I totally understand that the way you treat them, do not expect them treating you the same way. I think I'm expecting too much. It makes me really tired to care about what other people think. But I care about your thoughts means I really care about you, isn't it what a friend should do? I really couldnt focus much. I just overthink too much. I rather you tell me off that you dont like me, not happy with me, then expecting me to guess. Please dont pretend that you're okay when obviously you're not okay with me. It's really super creepy. Sigh. Usually, after writing a post, I would be better, but today, this seems ineffective. :( 

Release, i think?

Time flies. People grow. Things change. Everyone tend to ignore how the little things can be so important. I dont like people who are really pessimistic. Myself is also a pessimistic person. But I am grateful for what i have. I may not have the best thing in the world, but the small, lousy things are the best to me if I think it is the best. You really dont have to show all your emo post, emo faces everywhere. Thought that, youre the only person that having such trouble. I bet, people have more conflicts than you. Everyone has their own problem, dont do it as if youre the worst. -.-" I may apologize for how i think about you. But if I apologize, doesnt mean that you're right. I just dont want to lose the friendship, cause i know everything need toleration. I know you wont realize all these, but I will do everything to save things up, cause I cherish, even you dont.

BFF?

I have to be grateful. I need to cherish. I must appreciate.
But if I really feel uncomfortable, why do i still have to find excuse for you to make myself feel better?
It clearly that, things had changed. I have no value for you anymore, thus, you dont even find me?
I already tried not to think much. If it's not because that you dont have enough people, will you still ask us? I doubt so. Im so sorry. I know im wrong. But if i really not happy with it, you cant force me to smile in front of everyone right? Why do i still have to deal with all this shit? urghh.