Thursday, September 27, 2012

Day #75: Strong.

I dont know how still i can stand on my own feet anymore. Ive been trying to act normal, cheerful everyday. Today, i finally cannot take and break down. I dont know whats wrong and what i did that might make you unhappy, that made you didnt even want to talk to me. Im just too easily affected by you. Not supposed to, but it does. I dont know how fail i still can be. I will keep my smiley face on everyday. I will. Whether it's real or not, just make sure it's there when everyone is around. I will trust my own ability on what i can do. Definitely it will be much more than i expect. I reckon in my own way. If i dont do so, I know i cant even put on the pathetic little mask that keeps everyone comfort and happy. People who really care, will only see whats behind the mask. And i doubt the number of people who see that. I wonder who can really see me in my own unique way and stop judging me. My unique might be just a small thing, but i assume thats all i have now. And please stop judging my feelings. Its not something debatable. I know myself, maybe not well enough, but i understand what i want. You're the first i always think about before i sleep and after i wake up. It did not change. I wonder. But i will let it remain until it flows away itself. Goodnight, dear.

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