Day #114: Gathering?

Its been a really long time since i see some of the relatives. But i dont know why, today everyone just bang into my house. I just feel awkward. I couldnt sleep last night, at all. The nightmare, kept haunting me. I dont know what to feel. I dont want that day to be here so soon. But it's not anything i can control or manage. I know what will happen since long time, but everything gets worse and worse. What else we can do? We cant do anything. We tried every way to make things right, but it just doesnt work out. With my own problem, how can i feel good. How can i be truly happy? Even in class today, everything just rush into my mind. My family, you, homework, quizzes, just everything. I want to cry so badly. Though i know crying wont help any little. But i really dont know what else to do. Please dont let that day to be here so soon. Im just fear of accepting the truth. I dont want to. A broken heart that hasnt recover at all doesnt want to have another heartbroken. God bless me. Im afraid.