Day #124: Please.

I beg again, please take away the memory of you from me. I dont even cherish a single bit of the memory. It makes me suffer like no tomorrow. I rather i didnt meet you before. Sorry, that im weak. 4 months. It's even longer than the time we're together. But it haunts me again and again. This 4 months, every second i had, seems like putting me to death. I cant be as cool as you. I look okay, from the outside, but who knows, inside is tearing apart in every second. I miss dad. I really miss him. He told my aunt before he passed away, that he's regret he didnt have the chance to bring me out for vacation or even just a walk in shopping center. Thought back, i didnt have the chance to go out with my family. Ever since he's ill, i was just in primary school. I really grew up in such family. But i didnt blame my dad. I remembered, i made sure myself to wake up every weekend early in the morning to go breakfast with parents, even siblings didnt join. Mentally, i cant recover from both incidents that happened to me. If i knew something like that will happen, i will not even fall in love with someone that make myself miserable. If i knew i was this weak.