Day #110: November.

Isnt the day a bit too long? I just couldnt stop blogging. Im really stressful. With my current condition, my studies and projects. I dont even know whether im alright. I have to cry myself to sleep every night. Im tired saying im okay, but beside that, i dont know what else to say. I cant expect people to understand me. Please tell me what else i can do? I know i cant blame anything, i cant change a thing. I didnt even expect myself to sit in front of the laptop in the midnight, crying alone. I tried my best to leave everything out of my mind, but i really cant take it anymore. I really have the urge to jump down the building. I cant tell anyone what im having now. Not everyone is having what i am, how can i expect them to understand me. Im not magnifying my small problem, but if you pay attention to see or listen to what im having, you'll know. Im not trying to ask people to pity me, cause i dont need anyone's pity. I just dont understand why do i still dream about you at night? The person that will never ever exist in my life anymore. The person who doesnt even want to stay in my life. Its a new month. I hope everything will go well. Im really tired of myself. Enough of relying on others. Did i even rely on anyone? Was i being to dependent? Wasnt i facing the problems? Or running away?