Saturday, July 14, 2012

Day #1: Officially without you anymore.

Ive hold so long that i thought im doing the right thing. But actually no one appreciates what i did. I cut myself, forcing myself to know that you really dont want me anymore. Maybe that's what you want to make your family happy. Its okay. I dont matter anymore. I love you so much that i fight through everything, thinking one day you'll be back, one day you'll free of being controlled. Everything you want was just me leaving you. Even telling me lies saying you're engaged last week. I almost stab myself when i see that. You wont care anymore. Not anymore. I really got no apetite to eat anything. Crying non stop throughout my sleep. Woke up so many times cause i saw you and her in my mind. It was so frightening. Really is. Thats why i wake up and cry without waking anyone else. Crying alone. My heart seems being sliced into thousand pieces. My love to you is like a mirror, no matter how you break it, how it shatters into million pieces, you're still in it when you look. I wont mind, if thats the best for you. It took me alot of courage to make that decision. A lot that i cant even imagine. I let you go doesnt mean I'm strong. I just cant stand seeing you suffer anymore. Im sorry to make you through this. I thought there is still hope. Actually there is, just we both gave up. I hope you appreciate everything that i did for you, it really hurts me. Probably you think i didnt do anything and just annoy you. Theres a lot more else.

* I dont know how long i still have to cry, but please let me grow. I just want to see you happy. I just want to be by your side when you need a person. Im always here. I will never regret to love someone like you. With all my heart and soul.

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