Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Day #5: Im strong.

Finally you said your family is more important than me. Yes. Its supposed to. I thought im strong enough to let go everything, im cool enough. But actually im not. I just want you to come back to me. Is it hard? I know you love me. Why cant both people who love each other stay together? Please. I just want you back. Whatever you want to trade, i just want you to be by my side. I go through yesterday so hard. Pretending im okay. Forcing a smile on my face. It's just killing me. Do you know how hurt is my heart? I texted you, and you dont reply. I felt so aimless. So lost. You hope i will understand, then whos going to understand me? Its all my fault to fall for you. Why cant i just stay alone? Please, i want you back. Even to date you secretly. I dont need anyone's agreement. Just you. I need you. I want you. I beg everyone to bring you back to me, i can give everything they want, no one even bother to tell me. I wish you can just reply my messages and give me good reason. I just cant let you go so easily. I dont want to blame your family, but why cant they just leave you alone?? WHY? You told me you can choose your own wife. Yeah. Im not going to be your wife, thats why i dont deserve you. Is that right? Is it that way? I miss you so badly. I want you so badly. I want to call you my baby so badly. But i cant, anymore. Im tired to say im strong. But you know what, i will stay strong to wait you back to my side and call me baby again. I will. Just for you to come back. I will not let you go. Even how hard. I just dont wish to be here alone fighting. I wish you can show me how much you love me. Its possible to change your future. And you probably choose not to change it. Sorry if you feel offended. But youre not reading it. :(

* I didnt tell anyone before, but actually youre the dream guy that i always dream of. The one with perfect body size for me, buff enough, able to show im tiny instead of fat, handsome and most important, love me more than himself. You have all the above. Thats why i will not let go so easily. I know once i let go, I cant have you anymore.

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