Second day of sem 2. Sstill cant stop myself peeping you. I peep at you every second that i have which dont make you notice it. So secretly. Im tired being strong. I have unlimted questions to ask. But i wont ask anymore. I rather let it stay unknown than to know the truth. Theres a reason why my "ah gor" said all the things. He is right at times and most of the time. I know im hiding and running away. But sometimes i wish to live in dreams. At least its not that cruel and torturing. Looking at you everyday, but couldnt go near you really killing me. I see how happy are you. I should be glad at that, but it makes me feel that youre living so well with her, without me. :/ At least you're happy. How hard i smile, how loud i laugh everyday, no one knows how i bleed under the mask. Its killing me. I just dont want any of you to worry about me and believe im strong enough. And stop the lectures. :( Carr introduced me a song, sad face smiley.
I just want to tell you what the lyrics about. Just send me a sad face smiley, and i'll make sure im there. "You got someone there who is going to text you back. You got someone there to call when you need a chat". " "Just tell me whats strong, we'll put it right." "Facebook me, BBM me, skype me, i dont care." "7am in the morning or in the middle of night, i dont care."
Im not sure whether others can do all these for you, but please know that im always here. I might not be the right person for you, we might not meant to be, but please trust me that i didnt fool your feelings, hope you didnt too. :/
* Every night, wake up in the wet pillow. Cause i dreamt that youre so happy and different with her. In my dream, happily. I wish i can go back to all the old dreams where you cuddle me and wouldnt let me go. Not anymore. Whatever it happens, its all dream, never a real thing. :(
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