I wish I can say I love you out loud now.

Hah.. Not sure whether you're reading, anyway I feel better so much now. At least you still text me, even you say i should let you go at first. Do you understand me why am i doing all these? I just want you to be here with me. But it didnt turn out well, i just hope youre always happy. Dear, maybe im not supposed to call you that anymore, but please understand why are you living. Is it really that you live for your family? Are you sure you're not supposed to live for yourself? Im pretty sure your parents will be the ones that be with you in your first half of your life and you yourself supposed to make all the decisions in your second half of life. You're smart enough to think, i guess. I dont want to just be normal friends but i have no options. Thats the only way to get closer to you. I wish i can say how much i love you now.