Day #88: Ouch.

Yeah. You know what, whatever. Seriously. Some people come into my life because they have to, but when they insist to leave, let go. Dont hold back, no point. If I love their existence enough, let them be. Im learning. To be myself. Cause i dont know whether you still worth me doing everything. I thought that you worth me doing everything, cause i know, after i do, you will be there to see the result. But recently, im really pissed on how you treated me. But well, grown up girls. Learn not to be stubborn and hurting myself. I need you but i dont need you too. If you get what i mean. I dont like being accused that im trying to change you, cause im not. You go on with your life and i will. Yeah. Was waiting for my brother today after etp. I saw you. Your friends all said bye to me, and you chose to walk the other way. Well. Go then. I didnt do anything wrong. Youre the one that finding your own way to hide from me. Yes. I wanted to cry, asking myself why am i so hateful that you have to walk other way to run away from me. But think about it again, why should i be sad? I didnt even do anything wrong. You have your choice to run away, so go with it. It was all my fault that i couldnt get up and all. Yeah. You dont have to take any blame. Just go with your little girlfriend, that i dont really like. None of my business though. I shouldnt even be jealous of her. Shes pretty? I dont know. Smart? Prolly. Mannered? Uhhh. The most thing that im jealous is because of you. But from what i see, it was just all the surface work. Hah. Go with it. I dont mind anymore. One day, everyone will see me smile truly from my heart. And that will be the best smile that they ever see. Im still hoping the best for you. I will still be happy to see your smile. Just that, i dont really mind whether im the reason anymore. Cause you're the reason of mine. And thats the end of all i want. Goodnight, love. :)