Day #19: Non-stop bleeding.

I fall for you more and more each day, which i know its not right. Im trying to let myself go back to the right path, where i used to be so cheerful and tried to influence everyone with a smile. I just cant anymore. My heart keeps bleeding. Not that i dont want to heal it, but i tried so many times, so many ways, it just doesnt stop. Im tired of fake smiling. I cant do anything. I just want the boyfriend that used to put me as his prior. But he doesnt anymore. I thought im cool enough to let go everything, but it doesnt work this way. I know everyone is tired of my complaints. Im so sorry, i cant do a thing to help myself. I will try my best. I know im not good enough to worth his care, his attention, his companion and everything. I just fail. I love you. But i cant anymore. I dont like that. Let me dream and dont wake up. At least the dream is better than what im having now. I really dont want to wake up form the dreams.