Day #23: Shut down.

I really got tired with all the dramas around. I just want to shut myself down and sleep non-stop. You asked me how am i? What am i supposed to say? I want to tell you how exactly i feel, can i? No. I cant. What can you do to help me? You left me alone here to suffer myself, go through myself, you left me for her, you pleased her, you ignored me. What else can i ask for? I just want you think in my situation. Youre putting yourself in an easy way that you dont have to think so much and think its the best for me. I have nothing to say, its your decision. Im really so frustrated about everything that i shut my friends away from me for 2 days. I managed to pull through, but why i cant even go through this? She didnt treasure you when youre together, but still she gets you. She didnt treasure you and thought youll go back to her. So surprisingly, you met me. She felt insecure and explained everything to you. Does it go this way? She wins. I have nothing to say. You're already protecting her. You already betray me and our promises. You didnt even bother to respect me. I lowered my limits for you and you keep touching my border line. What am i supposed to do? I just hate myself, why do i care for you so much? I can just dont give a damn and live my life. If i can stab myself and see whats wrong with my heart, i might do that. But i cant. Life is awful. Getting worse everyday. Everyone is missing the cheerful Emily Wong Yung Yung. She died. Just hope a new one comes out. When a girl ignores you, it either means she wants you to care for her, or she feels hurt, too much. Im both, what you think you can do?