Its the 41th day ad. I dont know what should i feel after so long. Am i really dwelling it it? Ive tried not to. I went out with cousin today. I feel cool of course since i rarely go out with her. Sometimes walking on the street, i just think about you. The corners bring memories. I know how much i love the memories, but i couldnt really handle it. Ive been ignoring my feelings so hard these days. It seems working, but im so tired to do things that are not me. I scared one day, if i really cannot take it, will i break down? It might so. I miss someone that wont miss me the same way. He must be having all the fun in Sabah. Maybe when im gone he'll be better? Im should be mad at myself that i still think about him. But, why am i so depress about it? I wish im strong enough to hold everything in place and dont let anyone knows that i still miss you? I feel nothing now. I hope i can even understand myself. I think this is only the shell of me. Ive lost all my feelings. Sometimes, Something should just bang into my life and distract this piece of shit. Zzz. The feelings have been bugging me whole day. Just please, leave me alone.
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