Day #27: Navigate my own way.

We need a talk to solve problem. Not a talk to fight. I have no idea why am i so moody today. Its like the worst day of my life. I didnt try not to smile in front of people anyone before. We were doing blood smear for our bio experiment. I want to release all my blood, and have new blood to have a better survive. I hate this me that really paranoid, annoying and troublesome. I want to have some time to really find my own way again, to do some navigating. I want to find myself back. I want to stand for myself again. But it doesnt mean that i dont love you anymore. Just that i chose to protect myself after being hurt for so long. I wont comment, asking you to report anything to me anymore. I know i dont have the qualification. I dont even want to be qualify now. Seeing you follow your parents aimlessly makes me feel sad, I wonder whether you'll be happy in your future. You seem happy now though. Its not only you who are tired, im even tired than you. But its not under my concern anymore. Learn to build the walls to protect myself. And i will make sure youll regret someday that you didnt appreciate my effort to bring us back. I tried my best, you dont give in any effort. Fine. Thats all. I did what i supposed to do. I care about you, i love you, but in another way now. Dont play with 2 girls at once. You're lucky that you have her because of your family, if not, youll be worse. You dont call her a backup girlfriend. Well. To me, shes more than that. Its okay, go for her, she'll see how much you love her. How much until you can play with me just to make her back. Such a successful plan. Dont mess with me. Ive grown up. Remember that, any second, i can make you feel even guiltier, more regret. It only depends on what i want to do. I can even just snap your relationship if i want. Think properly in anything you do.